Wednesday, August 13, 2008

How I ate an ant

My vacation and the self-imposed technology cold turkey are nearly at an end. I'm in a lovely, remote place in the tropics that, oddly, happens to be the highest point in the Netherlands. My writing projects have gone well, but I have been somewhat distracted by scuba diving. I'll tell you about it later when I can upload some pics. The land-based creepy crawlies of the tropics scare me a bit, especially when I accidentally eat them.

This morning I accidentally ate an ant. It was very traumatic, less so for the ant because he was already dead. The ant died a slow painful death by refrigeration. I bought cereal a few days ago, and I left it out on the counter overnight by mistake...because where I come from putting cereal in the fridge is not a natural reflex. Apparently some ants got in there before I thought to put the box in the fridge. So this morning I'm eating my cereal and I look down to see a dead ant in the spoon. No telling how many ants I downed before realizing this. I raced outside and dumped the bowl and spit into a bush. Then I brushed my teeth vigorously, it seems like ant legs could get stuck between the teeth, and went out for breakfast.

As I was walking to breakfast I saw a rat snoozing in the sun on a wall. What was a rat doing tanning on the wall? Then when I went for a walk a soldier crab growled at me. Yes, growled. Who ever heard of a growling crab?

The sea life is much less terrifying.

When I get back I'll give you the skinny on where am I and what I ate.


Miss Ann Thrope said...

As a sixth grader, I'd not finished my Cheese Doodles but put them back in my lunchbox, and it back in my cubbyhole.

On the bus ride home, I sort of surreptitiously (moreso due to not wanting to share than any ban on bus snacking) pulled Cheese Doodles from my lunchbox and ate 'em.

Eventually I actually looked into my lunchbox (I guess I wondered how many more delicious cheesy puffs remained). To my shock and horror, the lunch box and the Cheese Doodles were crawling with lots of little live ants. I'd ingested several, I expect. Ick.

Moral: Don't be greedy and look before you eat.


K said...

Nice handle, misanthrope.